Memories are made on holiday

This is my first blog for a few weeks. Its apparent that when you have a break from something, you are rusty going back to it as I’ve stared at a blank page for ten minutes deciding what to write. But as the words start to take shape on my word document, I feel all the lovely feels returning and I remember why I love writing so much. The reason for my writing absence is mainly due to a family holiday that me, my husband, daughter, mum and step dad took over October half term. We went to Disney World in Florida which was the most wonderful, restoring and fun packed break we have had in a very long time. Despite it being a very fast paced and tiring holiday, I had a lot of time to reflect on my life during the time away. Isn’t that one of the best things about holidays? Getting out of your normal day to day existence and feeling more alive, more connected to yourself and the people that matter most.

We can’t help our wandering brains sometime, and I often consider whether I am the best person I could be, the best mother, the best wife. Have I loved them enough today? Have I been true to myself today? These are things I wonder regularly. Being a mother in particular, why do I feel guilty about my actions (or lack of them) on a daily basis when it comes to my child? I know I am a good Mummy, I know that my daughter loves me (a card she wrote for me last night made my heart ache) but as a busy teacher, stage school owner, normal human being, I feel I spend most of my time just getting everything done. It’s not until she’s in bed at night and I sit on the sofa to relax that I start the process all over again as I reflect on the day. Did I love her enough today? Did I guide her enough today? Having a little human being to love, shape, guide, develop is probably the hardest thing in the world.

The world is full of clichès about parenthood. There’s no magical book which tells you what to do, the advice is endless from different corners, your gut often tells you one thing but then your actions conflict with this. What age is the hardest? 6 is the loveliest and to some extent, the hardest age so far for me. She’s opinionated, strong willed, curious, talkative, energised – all the things I want her to be, but they also infuriate me, what is that? My only conclusion is that there’s no definite answer. However, what I do know is that the holiday we took was essential to reconnect us as a family. So, it is a matter of priority to me to ensure this happens in our lives at least once a year. A family holiday together gives you time to just be together and enjoy each other’s company. Fun first. Creating memories for us as a family but importantly for my daughter.

I want to be fun for my daughter and have fun with her; a holiday gives us that opportunity. It doesn’t have to be Disney World – our next holiday is to Cornwall – but these are the times that I remember why family, love, enjoyment must be prioritised. We only get one life right?