No amount of anxiety can change the future

Let’s talk about anxiety. What is anxiety? In dictionary terms, it is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. I think we can all relate to that. I certainly have felt anxiety at times in my life but the reason I want to talk about it today, is my growing worry about the pandemic of anxiety. I don’t know about you, but on average in a typical week, someone (sometimes multiple people) will tell me they ‘have’ anxiety. I still strikes me as an interesting turn of phrase. People tend to talk about having anxiety as if it is catching rather than saying they feel anxious or feel anxiety. And in contemporary terms, talks, articles and information about anxiety are everywhere now. Working with young people in my daily life, I can see all sorts of emotions etched over their faces: namely tiredness, confusion, sometimes boredom, frustration…..(arguably not anxiety!) I often feel at a total loss for them and come up with generic (but I expect useless) turns of phrases for them like ‘Well, take it easy’, ‘Try to find some time for yourself’ and ‘Everything’s going to be okay’. Although it’s so important to listen in our roles as parents, aunties, teachers….whatever role you encompass to someone younger, just listening doesn’t feel like enough to me. I want to understand why ‘anxiety’ is such a buzz word at the moment and why so many young people feel it’s an authentic part of their lives, and one that at times, has total control on their lives.

More and more when I answer the phone to a new parent now, enquiring about sending their child to Stagecoach, they will say ‘He/she has anxiety’. When I first started the business, I can’t recall this ever happening, but more and more conversations I have with parents (and students) revolves around me sympathising with them for this (which I do) but not really having a clue about what direction to take the conversation after this. It’s such a conversation burner. It’s like when you are playing out an amazing improvisation, everyone is metaphorically saying yes to all the great ideas coming up and then someone suddenly says NO! and the improvisation abruptly ends. Everyone is stunned and a little speechless. For me it’s partly to do with labelling. A child is labelled as having anxiety and then, what? I’m expecting this timid, frightened student to turn up on the first day, who is being cradled by their parent, protected against this new environment they are entering. When actually being brave, coming to a new and exciting creative environment is an absolutely positive decision. Ultimately, when I do meet the new student, it’s not really anxiety (in my opinion) but nerves. And within ten minutes of starting, they are energised and happy in the space.

Part of me thinks young people just don’t have the right or appropriate coping skills to deal with pressures in their lives and as these issues mount and mount, without anyone really giving them the right guidance, this eventually leads to them feeling anxious. This I can relate to because it was the same for me. In my early twenties, I had almost no guidance about how to manage everything. And I made so many bad decisions as a result. It’s taken me years to figure out how to deal with my negative thinking patterns, how to combat stress and take care of my feelings. I just kept it all to myself at the time. But, your feelings and thoughts permeate into every area of your life and so in my opinion they should be attended to regularly.

Right now, I am starting to develop two unique workshops for young people that focus on: HAPPINESS and SUCCESS. The titles are deliberately vague at the moment as its all very early on, but I hope within these workshops, I can give young people more specific and straight forward coping strategies. Better than that, strategies to achieve ‘happiness’ and ‘success’ in whatever form this means to them, therefore reducing anxiety and stress to a minimum. But like I said, its early days, and in the meantime, I urge everyone out there (not just young people, it just so happens this has been the focus today) to pursue a positive mantra everyday. I mean, every day is a new and unique experience and another day on this beautiful earth. Just by thinking that in the morning, you will start thinking positively for the rest of the day ahead.