When you're not at your best

I’m feeling poorly at the moment. I’ve got that cold/cough going around that always seems to happen in October when the weather starts to change, and the nights start getting darker earlier. I hate being ill (who does!) and I’m not very good at looking after myself properly when I’m poorly. Why it is that I want to eat more junk food and drink a million coffees, when I should be eating healthy food and drinking lots of water? I have never been able to do what others seem to do, like sleep for longer periods of time and know the right medicine to take. As I get older, my illness seems to last for so much longer too. I remember the days when you would have a cold for a few days; there would be the ‘worse’ day and then things improve after that. I seem to have colds that last weeks now.

Yesterday I just didn’t have the energy to play with my daughter or do the things I normally do to keep her engaged and entertained on a Sunday. She ended up getting very bored and then it had a knock-on effect of making me feel worse and us getting annoyed with each other.

Today amongst other things I just didn’t know what I wanted to blog about as my creative brain is still on shut down at the moment. So, after staring at a blank page for a good ten minutes, I decided to just start writing about what I was feeling and see where it took me. Writing for me is really cathartic; it helps me process my thoughts and feelings which throughout a normal day I don’t always do as I’m so wrapped up in all the ‘doing’ going on. On this particular day, it is helping me to be kind to myself and reminding me that I don’t need to be perfect every day, particularly on poorly days. I can be ill and be a bit grotty. My daughter will start to learn that Mummy cannot engage and entertain her every second of the day; she needs to develop more independence in finding activities to do herself (she really does have a lot of toys that she could pick up…..). I don’t need to write the most earth shattering blogs every week. If I just write what’s true that day, I am being present and honest.

So, whatever you are doing today, don’t forget to check in with how you are feeling. See if you can stop for 5 minutes and write down how you are feeling today. Or simply close your eyes for a few minutes and observe what’s going on inwards. Where do your thoughts go to? What feelings come up? For me, this helps me to be present and gives me time to reflect on what I might need that day. Each day shouldn’t just be about the things we have to do, it should also be about honouring the feelings we have and allowing ourselves to recognise the thoughts we experience.